Painkillers

Everyone has their painkiller. Some people like to drown their sorrow in liquor. Others like to wallow in self-pity. Then, there are a few who actually enjoy pain and revel in it. I, personally, like to work myself to death and hope it numbs out any other feeling.

I’ve been a bit frustrated and confused the last day or so, and as you may well know, I’m not very good at handling emotions. I have the emotional IQ of a two-year old. So rather than experience human emotion, I consume myself with work. But what kind of work? Well, let’s say that within 17 hours, I have cranked out 2 batches of cookies; swept/mopped/hand-scrubbed/towel-dried my kitchen floor that hasn’t seen a sponge or tasted Pinesol in God knows how long; vacuumed the carpet; Windexed every single glass surface in the apartment; printed/cut/collaged a bunch of pictures for my wall; revised and edited some 25 pages of my paper; rearranged my cabinets – all this and I’m still going despite it nearing 4am. I am deadly efficient when I am frustrated. How? Well, I recently discovered McD’s iced coffees – amazing if you ask me. The $1.89 deal for a 16 oz. Hazelnut is keeping me on my toes, and I am still planning on attacking both bathrooms once I finish this entry. Call me crazy, but working beats a hangover or depression or unwanted bruises. Instead, I get a citrus smelling kitchen, no lab work for a few days, and a nice cookie to munch on while I watch Michael Phelps take a dive. It’s perfect, wouldn’t you say? Well, almost…

Mocha Morsels
source: KitchenParade
This is my go-to recipe for cookies that wow and impress time and time again. I call it an ‘adult’ chocolate chip cookie, as the bold coffee couples so well with the studded white chocolate chips – a study in contrast I might say. The cookie itself is sweet with a subtle bitterness from the coffee, but the white chocolate chips offset that, giving it an overall pleasant sweetness. I like these soft and chewy, but they can definitely be baked for a bit longer for a crisper, coffee/milk dunking sort of cookie if that is more your cup of tea. Actually, because of the women’s quadruple sculling, a few sheets did come out on the crisper side. Oops. All my changes are shown in [brackets] below.

Stirring in the white chocolate chips.

Cooling on the rack after baking.

Golden brown and absolutely delicious.Look at the texture from the nuts and chocolate chips!

Ingredients
1 cup chopped pecans (lightly toasted, optional) [substituted walnuts, both work well]
1-1/2 tbs instant coffee granules
1 tbs hot water
1 cup unsalted butter, [softened]
2/3 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup white sugar
1 egg
2-1/2 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1-1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt [omitted]
1 cup mini chocolate chips [3/4 cup white chocolate chips]

Directions
Preheat oven to 350*F.
Stir together coffee and hot water in small bowl. Set aside.
Cream butter and both sugars until fluffy. Add the egg, vanilla and coffee mixture. Combine well. In a separate bowl, measure & combine flour, baking soda and salt. Slowly mix dry ingredients into wet. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop by the spoonful (I used 3/4 of a tablespoon), leaving about an inch in between each dough ball. Bake until golden brown for about 9 minutes if you want soft, fall apart in your mouth cookies or 12 minutes for dunking cookies.

Bake or Break’s Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies
source: BakeorBreak
I always love to try different Chocolate Chip Cookie recipes. This one looked good as it had oatmeal and nuts – fabulous texture. However, upon making these, I realized that these were too delicate. As in, they fell apart before making it to my mouth. They also expand quite a bit, and so after the first baking sheet in the oven, I realized that I needed very large drops of dough to produce a decent thickness of cookie. I hope that made sense. Even so, the flavors were fabulous. Just keep in mind that your dough drops need to be large.

Coarsely pulsed oatmeal

Stirring in nuts to the dough mixture.

Dropping the dough by the ball-full.

Taste-tested straight out of the oven.

Ingredients
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 & 1/2 cups uncooked regular oats [I used old-fashioned]
1 & 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
4 ounces milk chocolate candy bar, coarsely chopped [omitted]
1 cup chopped pecans [substituted walnuts]

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°. Cream butter and gradually add sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla, beat well. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Gradually mix into butter mixture and combine well.

With a food processor, finely (or coarsely if you want more texture) ground oats. Stir into butter mixture. Stir in chocolate chips ad nuts. Drop generous tablespoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Bake until golden brown or about 10 minutes. Allow to cool on sheet before removing to rack to cool completely.

So like I said, deadly efficient and productive when I am frustrated. I bury myself in work to avoid having to deal with feelings and complicated emotions. Yes, I am avoiding the subject at hand, but I just need to buy some time – and I can’t think of a more fruitful way of buying time to think and reflect and introspect a bit. Unfortunately, the flesh is weak and I will shut down at some point – and the feelings will surge forth like a breaking dam. Can I still avoid dealing with those emotions?

God-willing, I will still be on my caffeine rush and the next few days will be occupied with a recipe on Vietnamese Banh Xeo, or a savory turmeric flavored crepe filled with meat and veggies. I don’t think there will be a Family Dinner this week as Andrea has left for Portland (it breaks my heart a little) and I am too preoccupied. Thank you all for reading and checking out the site, I had something like 2000 visitors in the last couple of days. If you don’t hear from me any time soon, just know that I am still burying myself beneath a mountain of work and still learning to cope with newly felt emotions. Until soon and happy cooking!

Returning to Reality

We are creatures of comfort. We thrive around the things that make us comfortable. Outside of our spheres, we are awkward, edgy, perhaps shy, dispirited, and uncomfortable. Sure, we are capable of adapting and acclimating to these new areas, but do we really want to? And while we assimilate, a part of us still holds on to that comfort zone, longing for the intimate setting that safely and securely envelopes each of us.

After a ridiculously intense day in the lab, I was relieved to slide back my keyboard tray, turn off the monitor, push my chair out, grab my things and exit. I was looking forward to my comfort zone, Family Dinner, where friends and friendships abound. Just a few short hours of convivial conversation, catching up on each other’s lives over bowls of hearty bell pepper soup; consoling each other over trays of pita and hummus; celebrating each other with glasses of satiating banana shakes – the Bible word for this is Love.

This particular Family reunion was Turkish themed, in honor of Jessica’s new Turkish cookbook. As I came out of work late, I was frantically scheming of what I could make for dinner. What IS Turkish anyway? I certainly had no idea, so I decided on a mere craving – Baklava! I have a horrible sweet tooth, and only something as strong as Baklava can cure it. If you’ve never had it, let me tell you, it is food of the gods! Layers of flakey, buttery phyllo pastry, filled with a sweet and sticky nut and honey medley. Delicious. I’ve been meaning to make Baklava for a while now, and have looked up quite a few recipes, all of which have their own idiosyncrasies and what not. But due to the time pressure, I did not work from a recipe, but memory and intuition. And thank God for intuition, because after much anticipation and impatience (from Jessica!!), they came out beautifully. Wouldn’t you agree?
The Baklava was preceded by a simple Roasted Bell Pepper Soup, Bell Pepper and Feta Couscous, Pita and Hummus, and several rounds of thick and creamy Banana Shakes. I will post the soup recipe when I receive it from Jimmy James.

Anh’s Quickie Baklava
Thanks Jimmy for pre-buying all the ingredients for me!

Ingredients
1 cup melted butter
1 lb. (18 sheets) phyllo pastry sheets, thawed but kept moist under a damp rag
*1 lb. coarsely chopped pistachios (or walnuts, or a mixture of your choice nuts)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tbs cinnamon
1/2 cup water
3/4 cup honey
1 stick cinnamon
zest of 1 lemon

Directions
*Because Jimmy was brilliant, he bought a pound of shelled pistachios. Now, being on a time crunch, that was a ridiculous amount of work because I spent the better half of an hour shucking the shells off those things. What a pain! Thank you soo much for helping me! Anyway step one, de-shell pistachios.


Preheat oven to 350*F.
Generously grease a 9×13″ cake pan (or large casserole dish works too I think).
In a large bowl, mix together the sugar, cinnamon and crushed nuts. Set aside.
Lay one sheet of phyllo down into the pan and brush ample amounts of butter onto the sheet. Repeat for 3 more sheets. On the top of the forth, brush on more butter, then sprinkle about 1/3 (or just enough to cover the sheet) of the nut mixture over the top. If you have phyllo dough hanging off the side of your pan, simply fold them over the nuts as well, making sure to generously butter all the sheets. The butter really helps to make the phyllo dough crunch up, if not, you get this soggy sticky mess… Over the nuts, lay another phyllo sheet on top, butter the sheet and repeat until you have 4 sheets on top of the nut mixture. Again, on that top sheet, butter and sprinkle another 1/3 over the top. Repeat until you have 3 layers of nuts sandwiched between 12 phyllo sheets. The remaining sheets will be placed over the last nut layer, again buttering each sheet you place down. With a sharp knife, cut the entire tray into individual pieces. Some people like triangles/diamonds, but I opted for the simpler rectangle.
Bake in oven for 30 minutes or so, keeping a vigilant eye. At some point, the top was browning too quickly for me, so I tented it in foil and continued baking.
While baking, heat in a saucepan the water, honey, lemon zest, and cinnamon stick. Allow to simmer and thicken up. My syrup was a bit watery, so I suggest 1/3 cup of sugar or something to thicken it up. Set aside.
Once golden brown and beautiful, remove baklava cake pan from oven and drizzle syrup over the hot baklava. Allow to cool before serving. I had left over filling, which I also sprinkled on top just for aesthetics. Voila. Simple as cake… no, as baklava!

J^2 Banana Shakes

I don’t like shakes. It’s funny because I always advertise the Falafel Drive-In’s banana shakes, when I never even order them (ask someoneiknow). But these Banana Shakes were just too good, forcing me to get over my dislike of milkshakes. You have to try them. They are particularly tasty on a fine summer evening like last night… and they are another great way to use up bananas past their prime. The following ingredients makes 1 serving.

Ingredients
250 mL milk
1 banana
1 tbs honey
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger

Blend all ingredients together and serve chilled.

After dinner, we all took up a few bikes and rode around the Oakland-Berkeley Telegraph area. It was really cute because there was a tandem which the girls took, and I hung on to Jimmy James for dear life on the back of a beat-up Schwinn. I really think we should have busted out to “Sound of Music.” It would have been icing on the cake. But that was the wonderful end to what would have been a terrible day. Thank you all so much for the company, the friendship, the food, the family. You will be hearing from me shortly on the upcoming family dinner events and other random kitchen events. I plan to crank out as much food as possible before school starts, at which point I will go back to starving again. But thanks for reading and until soon fair readers!

—AnhD—

On Settling In

So it’s my first week back in Berkeley and it is as though the last three weeks never even happened. It’s the same old setting, same people, same pace, same activities. While I was cavorting across Australia, life in Berkeley continued in its monotony. I can’t help but feel a bit out of rhythm with life here, because I have changed so much, but the things around me don’t seem to have changed at all. It may just be the jet lag talking, but really, I am just so out of sync with everything right now. In an attempt to cure this eccentricity, I turn to a close friend to reassure and comfort me – my kitchen. And nothing for me is more heartening than baking a tray of goodies, pulling them hot out of the oven, taking in all the aroma, masking me like a dense perfume. Sweet, intimate, delicious.

Streusel Top Blueberry Muffin
source: Gourmet via Epicurious

Ingredients
For batter:
3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) unsalted butter
1/3 cup whole milk
1 whole large egg
1 large yolk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups fresh blueberries (12 oz)

For topping:
3 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into bits
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3 1/2 tablespoons sugar

Directions
Preheat oven to 375°F and grease muffin pans.
Melt butter in a small saucepan over moderately low heat, then remove from heat. Whisk in milk, then whisk in whole egg, yolk, and vanilla until combined well.
Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a bowl, then add milk mixture and stir until just combined. Fold in blueberries gently but thoroughly.
Divide batter among 12 muffin cups, spreading evenly.

Separately, rub together all topping ingredients in a bowl with your fingertips until crumbly, then sprinkle evenly over batter in cups.
Bake until golden and crisp and a wooden pick or skewer inserted diagonally into center of a muffin comes out clean, 18 to 20 minutes. Cool on a rack for 15 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature and enjoy!

Within 5 minutes of leaving the oven, three of these muffins quickly met a devastating fate. They were so good that I devoured two in under 5 minutes, with no break in between for milk or water. Kari helped obliterate another muffin, and before we knew it, our dozen muffins were down to half a dozen. There is a reason this is our go-to recipe for Blueberry Muffins. The tops are crunchy and sweet. The muffin cake itself is moist without being wet, and just the right texture of softness. Our fresh and sweet blueberries from Whole Foods were delicious! I purposely used fewer berries in the muffin just so I could snack on fresh berries while the muffins baked. So good! We finished way too quickly…

Since coming back, I haven’t done much actually. Catching up on much needed sleep (story of my life) and working a bit on cleaning up the site and keeping afloat of the correspondences. I recently dove into Blood Brothers written by Father Elias Chacour who I had the privilege of hearing speak in Melbourne. Very inspirational and gives great insight to the Israeli-Palestine conflict. A definite recommended summer read if you are interested. The rest of this week looks relatively clutter free – a few hours at Ici and a lot of working from home. The pace should pick up a bit next week. On Monday, I will finally be hosting the much anticipated Banh Xeo Dinner for a few special people, followed by an Extended Family Dinner for my Australia family. A few birthdays are also sprinkled in there somewhere. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed viewing the pictures from my trip Down Under. “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Well, I have 1500 pictures, so how many words is that?

Until soon fellow food enthusiasts!

—AnhD—