For Good

Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you, I have been changed for good

Welcome back friend! It has been a while, but I am back and here to stay. I went to Carmel-by-the-Sea earlier today to reflect and mull over life and my existence (so Descartes right?). Well, the last few weeks marked my 21st birthday as well as the end of a good relationship. It was an amicable ending, but why did it end? Clearly, I have a lot to mull over. And though this is a food blog, and you were probably directed here in hopes of finding a recipe, this blog has evolved to become a dynamic record of food and life. I hope, my friend, you don’t mind…


Carmel has always been my escape. I would drive down during high school to journal or think or get a good lungful of fresh air. Even now, I go, hoping to gain some peace of mind. But as I sat on the beach today, I couldn’t help but be haunted by distant whispers of growing old together; haunted by the gentle tickle of the wind that mocked where the imprint of an embrace had been; haunted by a brilliant sunset that once illuminated kind eyes. Suddenly, everything around me seems to hold a fond memory. Every place has a story. Every food brings to mind a good time. Even my sanctuary, Carmel, was invaded by these memories. Yes, it would seem as though my existence had been reduced to nothing more than shadows of the past. But not so, concerned friend – it is merely a part of the healing process. The other part consists of (do I even need to say it?) kitchen therapy 🙂


Traditional Marbeled Loaf Cake
Source: Dorie Greenspan

2 cups + 2 tbs flour
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 sticks butter, room temp
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup whole milk
4 oz bittersweet chocolate, melted

Preheat oven to 325F. Butter and flour a 8.5X4.5X2.5″ loaf pan and place on 2 stacked baking sheets.
Whisk together flour, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Set aside.
With a stand mixer, beat butter until smooth and fluffy. Add sugar and beat for 3 minutes until light and creamy. Add eggs, one at a time. Beat in vanilla. Reduce mixer speed to low and alternately add flour mixture in 3 additions and milk in 2 additions. Mix only until incorporated.
Divide batter in half. Mix melted and cooled chocolate into half the batter. Keep the other half plain. At random, spoon plain and chocolate batter into loaf pan. Use a table knife and add zigzags/swirls through the batter.
Bake for 75 minutes or until a tester comes out clean. Tent with foil as needed. Allow to cool for 15 minutes before unmolding, then cool on a rack to room temperature before consuming.


I made 2 of these loaves, and they were gifted to special relatives. I also made some good cranberry oatmeal cookies for friends (who coincidentally are also going through breakups…) It felt wonderful. Let me emphasize, dear friend, that I am recovering from the end of a good relationship. And though I’m not sure that I’m any better of a person after the relationship, I do know I have been changed, and it has been for good. Thank you 45,000+ friends for visiting and reading. Let us continue to grow and nurture this friendship together.

Heart to heart,

This entry was posted in Baked Goods, Rants, Thoughts, Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to For Good

  1. annie says:

    i made oatmeal craisin cookies too! whoa!

  2. Colleen says:

    Hey Anh. Glad to hear your back. Take time to mend. I miss you and take care. If you want to talk, just hang out, or have a baking date, let me know.

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